Mediate's Tommy Christopher Beclowns Himself, Chapter MCMXCVI

Behold the sublime genius that is Mediaite's Tommy Christopher:

Current GOP frontrunner Newt Gingrich referenced a popular (among right-wingers) but baseless attack against President Obama this weekend during a speech in Naples, Florida. Challenging the President to a series of Lincoln-Douglas style debates, Gingrich told the crowd “If he (President Obama) wants to use a teleprompter, that would be fine with me.”

...I hate to break it to Newt Gingrich, but President Obama isn’t going to need a teleprompter to debate Newt Gingrich, he’s going to need fist-pillows so he doesn’t hurt him too badly.

Gee, Tommy, I'm sure Newt's trembling at the prospect.

That is, as long as the President isn't asked to count the number of states, pronounce the word corpsman, discuss the Intercontinental Railroad, translate sentences into Austrian, or give a eulogy for the 10,000 killed by a tornado in Kansas.

I'm actually a little miffed because now we'll have to update President Obama's Complete List of Historic Firsts to include Tommy Christopher's noteworthy accomplishment; he's the first reporter ever to have his lips surgically attached to a president's keister.